Saturday, November 13, 2010

I Have been Feeling a little Faded...

... Tired, disheartened, lonely lately. I find it difficult to shine. Well, let's say I do my very best, but I often burst into tears... There's not a single corner in my home I can decorate or enjoy anymore- all is dirty, crammed full of boxes, packing materials, piles of things to be packed away, select in order to (unwillingly) get rid of. It takes me ages to discard a single glass, cup, pillow. Better not to mention my creative supplies. So silly, I know, because I want to live a spiritual life and I care too much about material things. My precious stuff. I know you understand...
I don't feel myself at ease here, it looks like it isn't my home anymore! And we haven't find another one, yet. And the deadline is fastly approaching. We had to postpone the move, it now is impossible we can make it in time for Christmas. Speaking of which, I won't be able to decorate, enjoy a comfy shiny home, and on and on. But I will be able to celebrate with my parents at their place, and for that I am grateful!
Hubby and I will be headed to Oxfordshire again next week, I arranged to view several properties. I am grateful for that little vacation (sort of) awaiting me. Hope I can relax a bit and my bubbly self comes back. I need it, and I know my loved ones need it too.
I have tons of new ideas, of gifts and things I would like to make, of projects to be finished. I feel really sad when at the end of the day I see I haven't had time to sit at the desk and paint, sew or create. Maybe I'm too demanding on myself, and I should be grateful for what I can do everyday, even the simplest of things. 
Sorry if I've been absent for awhile, I really had hectic days and this bad mood of mine didn't help. Plus my cronic neck/headache tormented me for several days. When I disappear from my blog and comments this may be the reason. 
Sorry also for this not-so-cheery post tonight, I needed to write it down to let these thoughts go... I already feel better. A yummy brownie is calling me loudly, chocolate has been my best friend, lately! And, oh, maybe could some pink help cheering me up? I'll write Santa to please put a vintage car like this in my Christmas stocking. I think I could find a tiny place to put our stockings... well, if I manage to remember where on earth they are! Sigh.
Thanks for listening.
Monica x.

29 comments:

  1. O my dear dear Monica...what a sad post.....come on girl !! go for it !! you find your dream home .....mark my words!! everything will be allright girl.....big big hugs from me.....take care of yourself.................love you Ria.....and don't forget to give Kim a big big hug from me....xxxxxxx......Ria...

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  2. Monica,
    Sorry to hear you're not feeling well lately, I can understand. Hope you'll find your new home soon !
    Take care,
    Sylvia

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  3. Aaah Monica, you can always tell us. And you will see that everybody will listen and some people will give you some good advice. Well moving isn't the best time of your life, I have been there too. Settling in your own comfy home will be better. You will have to be patient, I wish I had a little wand to make you cheerful again, but I haven't sorry. I do hope that someone who is going to respond has some better advice. For now...I'm thinking of you and sending you positive vibes, which have never failed so far. Please catch them. Take your time, wishing you all good things. Hugs LiLi

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  4. Oh sweet Monica take a break & breathe!!! You are putting way too much stress on yourself. Enjoy the journey. There is time for all the things to come. Hope you enjoy your new magazine (when it gets there) over a cup of tea & biscuit. HUGS to both you & Kim. Smile... just think of all the adventures that lay in wait. And how blessed to have your parents home to go to for Christmas. YOU ARE A LUCKY GIRL! I know everyone needs to vent & am so glad you feel better. Now... go eat chocolate. HUGS!
    Charlene

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  5. This could have been written by me, sugar. My sentiments exactly lately. It just seems I've been "comfort fooding" the last several weeks to help with the hamstring pull and the length of time it's been and not being fully healed.

    I just sat and cried today because of all this. I can't seem to break through the "fog"!

    I think M&Ms are calling ME tonight!

    xoxo,
    Connie

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  6. Have a glass of wine, get some paper and pen, put your feet up and start making lists of things you will need to do when you get moved, shop for, projects, etc.. That way you will have that behind you. This Christmas relax and enjoy others' decorations, good food, etc., and consider it a little vacation. :D
    Hope you find the right place during this upcoming trip.
    Enjoy your weekend.

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  7. My dear Monica,

    I knew you were on my mind today for a reason! I am sorry to hear you have been feeling low. I know how it feels to not have a home. I went through that many times as a navy wife. It gets old and tiring.

    I do hope you have a lovely and successful trip to Oxfordshire.

    With love,
    Melissa

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  8. I will always be here to listen. I think there will be a light at the end of the tunnel...this is such a difficult time of year for everyone with the holidays fast approaching and you are in the midst of a big move on top of it. It won't be easy, but soon you will be smiling again! Thank goodness you have your parents at Christmas.

    XO,
    Jane

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  9. Dear Monica-
    I know how you feel- and I have come out on the other side-
    which is to say-
    you WILL too.
    I promise.

    Hang on,
    Laura
    White Spray Paint

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  10. Aw Monica. I read your blog often, but don't comment a lot, but I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and will say a prayer that your spirits will be lifted!! It WILL get better...
    Hugs~

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  11. No crying young lady! You have an exciting future...so much to look forward to! Enjoy your mom and dad :) I'll be crossing my fingers you find a home this next time around...take lots of pics for us!

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  12. Monica, of course you are bursting into tears, your whole life is changing, and I understand how it is when all you look at seems to put you further off sync. You just wait until you find the right place and get everything all set up the way you want it. you will love it.I am glad you will be at your paremts for Christmas. I know it is not the same for you being such a creative person, I know you will have the most wonderful year ahead...and you are accomplishing things. packing and organizing. I hope your headaches subside....and the tears let them out when you need to. hugs to you my friend. thinking of you and praying the days become smoother.

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  13. I can sympathize with your feelings, Monica. Being unsettled is hard at the best of times, especially difficult during Christmas. We are in the middle of major renovations and I am hoping that one corner will be done so that I can decorate for Christmas a little bit.
    Find the little pieces of pleasure in every day - just as you are doing with your chocolate brownie. Best wishes on your house search.

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  14. Monica, hang in there Sweetie, things will be better!!!! Moving is hard but think of how new and exciting everything will be once you are in the new place.......love you girlfriend!!!!
    Hugs,
    Mags
    xo

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  15. Having moved eight times in eight years, I know how you feel... Just keep the eye on the prize...!!! Maybe focus on other creative things you can do without your supplies... When I was getting ready to leave Portugal, I went through the same thing, so to keep myself busy I decided to start a recipe book using my mom and grandma's favorite recipes... Before you know it you will be back on track again!!! Big hug, my friend!!

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  16. The process of moving can have that affect! So don't beat yourself up about it. All your things are in disarray and it is surely very depressing. Soon you will find that perfect place and things will start to perk up for you. Keep eating that chocolate and taking as much time for yourself as you can.
    Hugging you
    SueAnn

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  17. I promise you..I understand.
    Cross my heart.

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  18. It is not comfortable to be in between two homes, but you will find something soon and you will be so excited to redecorate everything in your new home :-) This is very difficult for me as well to get rid of things...

    Everything will be all right for this coming Christmas!
    Oh, by the way, we have asked Santa the same 2 CV :-)
    Take care of yourself,
    Olivia

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  19. I know how you feel. It can all seem so overwhelming. We moved across the world in January last year, so spent Christmas day surrounded by boxes sitting on the floor around a coffee table having Christmas dinner.
    I was so depressed and stressed and it is so hard trying to decide what to get rid of. If you can just find the beauty in everything and get through one day at a time you will get your new life and eventually look back on this as an interesting experience.
    Hang on to your dreams, take one step at a time and it will all work out.

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  20. I'm sorry to hear that things are not going well (yet). Wishing you all the best - we're here for you and are trying to lift your spirits up! Your Flying friend all the way from Slovenia...

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  21. Oh Monica, I truly understand. Moving isn't easy. We've moved a few times and the more things we have to pack up, the harder it is. We all understand, especially losing the comfort of your things surrounding you.

    You WILL find your home - very soon. I'm sure of it. Then you can plan your move and be in your new home in the new year.

    xo
    Claudia

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  22. take each day...each hour... each minute...each second AT A TIME.. all will be as it should if you have faith. i will keep you in my prayers.

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  23. I tried to post before and it didn't go through so here I go again. Monica, I am so sorry you are feeling blue. Of course you are sad, of course you are feeling bad. I think it is part of the process of moving. You pack up your things and your house doesn't feel like yours anymore. That is what happens to help you close that chapter of your life and move onto the next adventure. I know it will all get better, just go with it and you will be fine.
    Much love,
    Meredith

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  24. Hi Monica, I find that writing down your feelings helps to release them. It gives you a little piece of mind. I know how you must be feeling when you are seeking peace and find that everything around you is in chaos. Keep your focus on finding a new home and then everything else will fall into place. Set your intentions and be clear. I love the quote that says "Worry is like a rocking chair, it gets you nowhere!" So hop right in that vintage car and let it take you were you need to go! God Bless! :) Tammy

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  25. Just keep telling yourself...."this too shall pass"...that is my mantra when things start to close in on me and I get SO stressed out....and it always does....

    You will find that perfect house...I know you will....and from there you will bloom again!

    Lou Cinda :)

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  26. As I cannot respond on your latest post I will let you know here that I am glad to hear from you again.
    And that you feeling something better.
    You go girl!!
    Fine evening

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  27. Hi Monica,
    My goodness, I sure do understand for I have moved 17 times! yep it's true. I too become over whelmed with things. I think it's our nature to want to have a clean and pretty home and be able to create and when our home is turned upside down we just don't know where to start.
    I sure wish we lived close, I would be right over with a latte a yummy goodie and my two hands to help you..
    Just keep in mind the new home and adventure you are going to have..it will be fun and all will be behind you very soon..Chin up sweetie,your new home will await you and you will feel it in your heart that you have found the right fit..
    Big, Big hugs~Elizabeth

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  28. Dear Monica,

    I have not had much time at the computer and just saw this now.
    Sorry my dear friend that you have been feeling like this, but it is only understandable. It is such an upheaval when you move, but will not be for long. All the boxes and chaos can sometimes be too much, especially when everything in your life is so organized and perfect, but just think soon it will be back to being beautiful again.
    So happy to see that the next post is happier and you were able to do some creating.
    Take care and hope that you find your perfect home, on your next trip.
    I hope that the headache and neck pain will go and you will feel better. Enjoy your chocolate brownies, and keep your chin up.

    Sending hugs from NZ
    Carolyn

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  29. I just know you will find a new home very soon and then all will work out beautifully for all of you. Just really take care of yourself. Lots of rest. OK Hugs, Sharon

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