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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Introvert? You Are Perfect the Way you Are!

No surprise among those who know me in my offline life, I am an introvert. A very happy introvert, indeed. According to the Myers and Briggs Foundation, there are two main psycological types- extroverts that like to spend time in the outer world and get their energy from active involvment in events and having a lot of different activities, feel comfortable in groups and savor social interaction.  Introverts, often wrongly associated with shyness, on the contrary like to spend time alone or with one or two people they feel comfortable with and get their energy from the inner world of ideas and images. Interacting with people drains them, while staying alone recharges their batteries.
Far from being an hermit, I surely prefer spending time by myself, with my husband, my dog or a single friend, I don't usually frequent busy places (if/when I do, I end up in bed for a couple of days, energy totally taken away from me) and you won't see me at ceremonies, social gatherings, parties etc. I have my way of having fun and feeling alive, and those are certainly not my kind of fun. At all. I live and work in total silence, and only rarely my home resounds in music (and when it does, it's mainly very calm and soft or Christmas music). In the past, some people, from relatives to friends, made me feel miserable affirming there was something wrong with me for my high sensitivity, for my desire of staying alone, not joining social activities, gatherings and ceremonies, that I had to have fun (the way they had), that I was young and instead behaved like an elderly person etc etc etc all kind of things stating the rightness of  their way of living and not mine. They surely didn't realize I was really happy the way I was!
Fortunately, at a certain point of my life, I have started to realize there was nothing wrong with me. I am perfect the way I am. And so are the other world's introverts, my DH included. I believe it's when you become conscious that you own your power and can really stretch those wings of yours and fly.
I am very pleased I've found out more and more about introverts lately. In a world that celebrates extroversion as the right way to be, I've also started to notice around the internet intoverts are bravely stepping out. It's also thanks to the connections I've had in my online life, relating to someone else's experiences and stories (and of course, working hard on myself) that I'm the person I am today- much happier, conscious, grateful, aware of my own power, and not afraid of stepping out sharing parts of my story for the benefit of others as well.
Monica x


  1. Fellow introvert here as well!!! Ha! And I love my life just the way it is!!
    Congrats on knowing!

  2. oh - how happy I am to read your post about this Monica. You wrote about me too. That´s exactly how I am - getting my energy and my creativity by spending time with myself and in silence. Married to an extrovert I´m having a hard time at times. People don´t get it if you don´t want to chat in the phone all the time or go out and meet up with people ect. Family and friends of mine think I´m weird becouse of this, and that makes me sad, as I´m quite happy with how I am.
    Thank you for writing about this

  3. Holding up my hand too.. Folks also tried to make me feel odd because being Alone makes me happy and being OUT THERE drains me so much.

    I too work alone at home and am here 80% of the time alone and yet my inner world is teaming with energy..

    I think I'll go on a search for introvert information..

    thank you so much for writing this.
    you spoke words I havent been able to.

  4. Thank you,Monica for your words:)
    I'm an introvert ,too.
    I think every introvert is a wonderful world. "It's possible to meet with happiness in a blade of grass,in sensible remarks, in the telling of the past time,in the poetry that warms the heart of life."Romano Battaglia
    Who live in a hurry and act arrogantly, they overlook all that.
    Good afternoon

  5. I am just like you..I love the company of my immediate family.. and I enjoy being one on one with a friend..but groups are not for me ..social outings etc..Not for me.
    And I worked with the public on a personal lever for almost 30 yrs:) Just never attended functions:)If I could get out of them.
    I do wonder sometimes if I am odd..as everyone seems to love a party..but me.

  6. Me too!! I have always been and introvert and I'm good this way :)

  7. Another introvert here. Time alone is precious to me. And I love being able to connect, as much or as little as I want, through the internet. Like minded people all over the world seem to find each other somehow.

  8. I have always been quite gregarious, but have found myself in recent years becoming very content within the confines of home and family life, and like you, spend time with a friend at a time. I can still whoop it up with a group, but am most happy with quality one to one time.
    I also prefer peace and quiet, or just some dreamy, soft soothing instrumental music.

    Some of my closest friends have been those with a quiet spirit in comparison to mine, and I have learned much from them.

    And yes, sweet Monica, you are a lovely soul, and absolutely perfect just as you are!! And I soooo appreciate you!


  9. I remember taking the Myers-Briggs Inventory and establishing my 4 letter designation. Yes, indeed, introversion was the first one. I'll have to explore the site you've given, Monica. Thank you.

  10. Oh goodness...I never thought of myself as an introvert, but this describes me perfectly Monica. I am comfortable enough around people I know well (and can even be quite entertaining I'm told) but I don't do crowds, I don't like parties,etc...and prefer to be home in the quiet. When I drive, it is usually in silence so I can ponder and muse. When I do go shopping it is always by myself, because I love my own company. I thought this meant I was selfish with my time, but I just prefer it this way. When I have company, I feel a huge relief when they are gone, even though I enjoyed the time with them. I love having my home all to myself again.
    You have no idea how much I needed to read this post. I really thought I had a problem. The funny thing is, is that I have two daughters just like me and two who love to be with friends and can't seem to do anything unless they are with them. SO I guess it's okay to be different.
    Thank you for writing this.
    sending hugs...

  11. What a great post Monica. I think I border on the line of extrovert and introvert. I do prefer my time alone and quiet time, but can handle some parties and social gatherings. I hate going to the store or mall when it's busy because I hate all the people. It's kind of comical, I think, where I lie. But that's OK, there is room in the world for us all.

  12. I too am an introvert. I am so glad you posted this, it does help to know others are like me out in the world. My son is very much like me also and is having a hard time getting others of his age to accept that he is the way he is, not like them, and he is happy alone. Why can't people accept that? We don't like crowds, parties, and potlucks! (even if there is free food-my husband says this) Thanks for being so brave and speaking out.

  13. Brilliant, Monica – and brave and wonderful of you to post this. I have had some interesting conversations with fellow introverts on how to flourish in this oh-so-social online world. For some people (more extroverted), it's so easy and for others, it's a struggle and feels unnatural. I love that you shared that you rarely have music playing. When I'm alone, I don't. Stillness and silence are things I cherish, along with, of course, the sounds of nature and birds.

    Thank you for sharing this and for the link.

    lots of love, dear.


  14. How beautiful you have describe it.
    Every person is unique and beautiful in its own way.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.

    xoxo Rozmeen

  15. Thank you for sharing this Monica. I wonder if being an introvert is associated with creativity??:) also, wondering how many are left-handed? You made me feel good about myself today...

  16. It's so beautiful to hear we're not alone, isn't it? Many thanks to each and every one of you for sharing a bit about yourself here on my blog, for my benefit and that of my readers too. I so appreciated.

  17. I'm also an introvert and your article is so true.

  18. Thanks to you for leaving me a note, Tammy. Glad if this has helped.

  19. Monica,

    Thank you for sending me to this wonderfully written post. I enjoyed it very much. I think I am a very private extrovert, if there is such a person. I think that makes others uncomfortable because I'm not the person they think I SHOULD be just because I am very sociable, and yet I don't follow the crowd and would rather be alone, doing my own thing, when it suits me.

    In this day and age of tell-all talk shows, tweeting, and "reality" shows, You Tube, and so on, it seems almost socially unacceptable to actually keep parts of our lives private and not to make a spectacle of ourselves in public with a "look at me!" approach to life with every waking minute.

    For a while, I wore myself out because I believed what others were telling me...what I am, how I should be, and where I should head with my goals and so on. But then I woke up, and like you, decided that I am fine with me. Nothing wrong with a private extrovert. I like the company of many and just one - depends on my day. And if my day dictates "just one" (or none) it does NOT mean I am having a "bad" day. That's the social world trying to tell me that I am wrong. I don't accept that anymore.

    Big hugs

  20. What a lovely post. I too prefer spending quiet time with myself. I find peace in solitude and quiet. I have never liked parties, prefering the company of a few true and trusted friends that I have known through the decades. I do my shopping as early as possible, to stay far away from crowds. People have always called me too sensitive and told me that I need to live outside of myself more. If they don't understand...well at least there are people who do.
    Thank you for this post and for everyone who also shared their stories.

  21. I feel a lot of empathy with what you write here Monica xxx

  22. Have a wonderful Sunday soul sister!


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