Tuesday, March 11, 2014

My Feelings about Emails (and Why I have decided to Stop Replying).

I love to write and receive old- fashioned letters!

Snail mail cards and letters are as useful as emails (and even better!) to keep a relationship alive.

This is something I have been wanting to surrender to, and write about, for quite a while.
I will reply to the personal emails I have already received, when time allows (this means it may take months), but I won't be able to reply to new ones any longer. To cut a long story short, between the 8 moves in 6 months of last year, establishing a home, assembling furniture, having to deal with 500 boxes, meeting deadlines, just living, working and taking care of my family and myself, I still have some to reply from last Summer- I hope no one takes it in a personal manner, those have now the priority. Some emails of the multiple I received from the same person in my long, long list, may remain unanswered.

I want to write about this subject because it has emerged several times during conversations with my dearest friends. I see that every one of us, all artists or creatives of any kind with an online presence, struggle with emails to be answered.

I speak for myself saying that emailing, which is a very lovely way to connect with people in your life (online and offline), especially when you are an introvert, could be done when I received just a bunch. Now that I receive many, it has become a full-time job, on top of life.

I want to give my full attention and heart to my response, and when I don't have the time to do that, I prefer not to write, instead of rushing and my mind is elsewhere. But when the number of people writing started to increase, this added to my workload... and stress... simply, and I'm being very frank, I don't find the time any longer and I have some facts in my life that make me extremely difficult to do so. I believe we have all of the time we need, if we use our given days wisely. If you want to grow, move forward, pursue your dreams, and doing what you're called to do in this life, well, it's simple to understand that you have to choose, you cannot do everything! That's simply unsustainable.
I work full time, and as a creative, I always have many projects in the making even for my home and personal life, and of couse I feel it's vital for each and every one of us to take care of ourselves first and foremost, before we are able to take care of someone else or something bigger that's in the divine plan waiting for us to devote to it.

I've been raised in a traditional way, and very well know and appreciate good- manners. But here's not a matter of good- manners- truth is emails can have such a negative impact on a person's life and well- being.

What I do feel in my heart is that I have to choose joy instead of stress, and act for the benefit of many instead than of a limited number of people. The big dreams tugging at our hearts are ideas waiting to be manifested in the material world... they need time and care, they need to be watered and exposed to light to bloom. That takes time and lots of energy.

I remember reading a passage about this subject by Liz Lamoreux I now cannot find anymore on her blog, but basically the idea was that there's no need at all to apologize if you don't reply to emails or do not on time.
I found the idea so interesting that I took the time to explore it in my heart and mind. It takes lots of psychophysical energy to respond to everyone, especially when you are a highly sensitive person and people do open your heart to you. And even if you would like to wave your magic wand and do all in a nanosecond, those replies take an awful lot of time (not to mention that due to my highly sensitive nature, most of the times they keep dwelling in my heart and mind, provoking strong emotions, and I cannot move forward to other ideas). It's time and energy that you don't use for your nourishment, for cooking, cleaning your home, keep it tidy, move your body, chat with your elderly parents, devote time to your dreams, do great things for the world. It's very easy to understand...

I know that this is difficult to accept for many out there, especially family or friends (this subject is also very frequent in the coversations I previously mentioned).
What I have come to the understanding of in my personal spiritual journey, is that, instead of struggling, things have to be said. Not kept unspoken, because they arise assumptions and judgement that way- they just need to be told with grace and honesty, spoken right from the heart. There's nothing wrong in telling I want to nurture my soul and body. I want to choose joy instead of stress. I want to feel good. I want to do what I'm called to do in this life.

What is being told with pure heart and with love, and with no other intention than goodness and growth, I am totally sure of that, if not now will be understood in the long run.

Monica xo


  1. I am on the verge of making a similar decision in an area of my own life (not emails or blogging, but some other activity) so I can understand the need for clarity upfront. Do what is best for you because your creativity affects many people for the good. I disconnected my blog email due to the fact that someone tried to hack it, but it was good in the sense that it put my communication online. I pay visits there for the most part.



  2. Hi Monica I love to see that you are doing what feels right for you, it's such an important thing and I just know everyone will understand.

  3. I understand perfectly! Love the photos and all you create.

    Take care,

  4. You have come to the best decision for you.
    I like letters written by hand from my dearest friends too ... it's a joy when i find out a new letter in my postbox.
    Comunque grazie , hugs

  5. Another touching and heart-felt post Monica. I read lately how important it is to turn off from outside stimuli, especially if you are nurturing your own dreams, and finding your own voice; it's impossible to find when we are constantly distracted, and that distraction often leads to feelings of obligation and anxiety.
    Email is such a paradox - the beauty, and the problem,are the immediacy of it - we can respond right away and so we feel we should. I applaud your taking this decision... you show such a true conviction in your desire for a life of your own. Bravo...

  6. Monica I do understand. While I was mourning the loss of my dear sweet Teddy I just shut down. I couldn't hardly respond to all my caring friends. I have often wanted to write a letter to you but do not have your current address. I love letters and feel it is becoming a lost art. They are treasures to keep. If you find time please drop by my blog to see what is helping me to heal my heart. I know you will like ..... Hugs to you dear Monica. I still think of precious Kim often.

  7. Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your heart and wisdom. With tears in my eyes, I can relate to your struggle. My respect and admiration grow for you with each post I read. I am learning so much. About life and self.

    Feeling so grateful,

  8. very well put Monica. A very thought provoking post, Heather x


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