{Authentic, Conscious Living} A Decade of ONE LITTLE WORD-s





2009 Simplify

2010 Relax

2011 Expand

2012 Bloom

2013 Move

2014 Welcome

2015 JOY

2016 Light

2017 Love

2018 Miracle
☆☆

As January starts off, I feel guided by my Soul to write about the one little word I use as a guiding word for the year ahead. I can already see, even after just a sentence, how healing and enlightening this can be for myself and others. I realized after compiling the list above, that it’s a whole decade, and no surprise, the decade of my spiritual awakening.

I discovered the concept of OLW (One Little Word) back in 2008, when I started blogging- many people I came across were choosing a single word to guide them throughout the year, like an intention, instead of resolutions (both concepts I was not familiar with at the time). I felt a strong pull, and I chose a word myself. So back in January 2009, I asked “SIMPLIFY” to come into my life (and even though I didn’t know back then, that was about to throw me head- first into an unplanned healing journey).

* Note: What I’m going to write, is what I NOW see looking in retrospect. Back then, I was totally unaware of the bigger picture, and of most of these insights.



2009 SIMPLIFY

This was the first year I chose a guiding word for the 365 days ahead. At the time, I had no idea at all of anything about spirituality, I was in a deep spiritual slumber, like most people- and had no idea at all that our words create our reality. Now if you’re reading this and don’t get it, I totally understand (as I’ve been in the same situation myself)- leave it and take the rest you’re ready for.

As stated above, in 2009 I was in complete denial, and not at all satisfied with my life (but the funny or not so funny thing is, I still thought it was OK). The details of what was going on are too long and complicated to share here, but what I can see now is that I was lost in the fog, with absolutely no sense of direction. I felt like I had a huge weight on my shoulders. I felt caged, afraid of practically everything, always exhausted for no apparent reason, deeply unfulfilled. Something in my heart was calling me all the time, but I had no idea of what it was. While for a few years already I had managed to hush that little, annoying inner voice by numbing myself in the cleverest of ways (without being aware of that), in 2009 that nudge had become too insistent and loud, and I was no longer able to ignore it.

After all my life as a fervent believer in God (raised as Roman Catholic in a practicing, religious family), I had lost my faith in a Higher Power altogether. My health was bad, all my relationships not fulfilling and getting worse and worse, life felt hard, I had developed all kind of fears and anxiety, and was still grieving from the previous year a lost friendship of more than 20 years.

Right then and there, the Universe started shaking the earth under my feet, and lo and behold, my whole world crumbled before my eyes. I was “unwillingly” thrown into a spiritual awakening and the dark night of the soul.

I was completely unaware of what was happening to me, the pain was almost unbearable, and I found myself in the darkness of darkness- alone. No more people in my life but a single friend who stayed, and came to my rescue- the only one who stayed when things were no longer peaches and roses (… by the way, she’s still here :)). But teachers and new friends (I now call “my angel friends”) started soon appearing, to rescue me, support me, teach me what I needed to know (including spirituality and metaphysical healing/energy work, that is!), bring God/Spirit/the Divine/ a Higher Power back in my life in a much wider way than before, and guide me to a safe harbor while in the middle of a violent storm. I started being conscious of synchronicities happening in my life at an ever- increasing rate.

My life changed trajectory forever thanks to the word simplify- and boy did this word work for me! In a jiffy, I simplified my life. I mean, hugely. Whether I wanted it or not. And not at all in the ways I expected.
☆☆

2010 RELAX

Relax, unlike rest, implies some sort of letting go and surrendering. And what I did in 2010, was exactly that.

When I chose that word, because my Soul guided me to it, I thought it was all about resting. I was tired because of all of that I had been through the previous year, and really needed time to recover. But truly, what I now see in retrospect it happened, was mostly the letting go and surrendering part, that just opened me up naturally to the next word and phase of my life.

I relaxed- yes. I started taking care of myself more, including finally rest more- yes. I started loving myself a tad more- yes. I started discovering more about myself, and started an intentional journey back to my True Self. That journey had begun “serendipitously” (I put it into quote marks as really I’ve come to realize there is no coincidence in this awesome universe) almost a decade prior when one of my friend’s Mom upon visiting my first apartment with my friend, and looking as excited as a kid in a toy store for what she was seeing and hearing, shared the title of a book with me, as she though I was the living embodiment of its content: “Simple Abundance”. Truth be told, yes, I was already halfway- but then I struggled with many of the lessons contained in the book for more than a decade! :O

What I can see now, is that in 2010 I “relaxed” in an odd way- and that for sure was one of my greatest achievements, and propelled me forward in my journey.
Instead of doing nothing and just staying there hosting self- pity parties all the time mourning my crashed world that I deeply knew was never going to be the same again, I started reading and studying spirituality all day long. I started reading the Bible for the first time in my life (yes, I was a practicing Catholic, had attended a Catholic school for many years, and yes I went to church and volunteered in all kind of activities, but had never read the Bible before! I must add here that I think in Italy it’s different from other Christian Countries, at least from what I’ve understood later on from my American friends. But here I’m digressing…).

I invested my newly found spare time (after all the “simplification” of the previous year!) in myself, and my own healing. I was determined to heal my life. Truly determined. I was determined to FEEL GOOD! I was determined to make my own dreams a reality. I dared to tell the world “I AM AN ARTIST” (I had never shared that before online, and I believe my audience was a bit puzzled when I started sharing a few of my new paintings on my blog, as I had never shared that part of myself before, even though art was indeed the basis of my life and had always been, since I was very little- together with photography). I was determined to grow my skills as an artist and photographer, I started working diligently at that, and also started to create original crafts and submit them to magazines (it was the beginning of a long series of publications until I consciously quit in 2013 to detach myself from the need of recognition and external validation, as I was starting to detect easily the mechanisms of my ego wanting to drive my life).

So I can say, I used my “relaxation” time to grow and heal myself. And this has been my most remarkable, conscious choice at the time, despite all the difficulties I was going through and the pain I was feeling (remember, my world had crumbled, I was experiencing one loss after another and great instability in my life, my belief system going crazy, as I was still going through a spiritual awakening!).

I did not accept the role of the victim- ever. I was determined to do whatever it took to find my way out of that mess, and surrender to God’s plans for me (this was the point of my journey where I was at at the time).

2010 definitely was for me a year of starting over. Of conscious choices. Of intention. Of healing. Of learning. Of letting go of my plans for my life, and accept what God had in store for me.

Yes. Indeed it was a year of great relaxation from all of the control I had used in my life until then.

☆☆

 2011 EXPAND

Since 2009 I had lost my home (sold it under miraculous circumstances), some of my dreams (including my beloved garden I had built from scratch), security, relationships, my normality, previous beliefs and traits of my personality (like though my ego was dying), and many things important to me.

I felt inside a need for expansion of my Soul, that also developed in an expansion of my dreams (one of which, living in England, I had dreamt of forever), of the sense of possibility inside my heart, of my portfolio, of my blog. I truly started to blog with more zest- also because, let’s be honest- it was saving me. It was keeping me sane in the situation I was in. I was not happy at all, and I kept feeling like I had to shake things up, and move on in my journey. But it felt like it was just not happening. I felt stuck.

I still had not- so- harmonious relationships, except with my “angel friends”, only one of whom was in my offline life. I felt I was not belonging to my home Country. I had my second carpal tunnel surgery. My health was deteriorating, but I was committed to solve my problems through metaphysical healing. I did a ton of inner work. I painted and painted. I took photos (they were my saving grace as well). I wrote lots of articles for american magazines, and lots of blog posts and guest posts. I walked and walked at the park and around the city with my trustworthy Golden Retriever and furbaby Kim. At the end of the year, I synchronically signed a contract with an american agent (the exact one I had been guided to by Spirit) to license my work worldwide. Whoa. I truly did expand my views in 2011!
☆☆

2012 BLOOM

This was the year I truly bloomed in my blog, in my work, in my own spiritual growth.

Had lots of success, was published extensively, licensed my work, used to receive so many emails from people all around the world that 8 hours per week were no longer enough to reply. I felt happier, but overwhelmed. I still felt stuck and unable to move to a house of my own I deeply needed and craved. Still living at my parents’ home, as the move to England seemed to not come to fruition, despite all of my efforts.

My health got worse and worse, especially my migraines with cyclic vomiting, vaginitis/problems in my intimate parts, problems in my hips and feet, and rashes, even with all the metaphysical healing I was doing (actually, I now see it was indeed working, because it just made my blocks come to the surface to be cleared for good, even if I did not see that at the time).

My furbaby Kim got ill and passed away, and with that, I felt like I had completely lost any support I had in my life. I felt like nothing was keeping me anymore in a place where I felt I did not belong- my home Country.

Life felt hard. I was aware of some sort of unbalance in my life, even though I had no clarity at all (so I could not pinpoint it or verbalize it) and for sure of my physical challenges- but not aware as of yet of all the healing I needed. What I can see clearly now, is that what I believed to be one condition after another, one problem after another, was just my Soul showing me in my body all the blocks I needed to heal in order to bloom in all areas of my life! :)

By the end of the year, I also had a diagnosed hernia in my back, and the pain was enormous. I was annoyed by continued problems in my intimate parts. I had continued bad rashes and hives- my body was rebeling! Had bursitis in my hip, too. I was feeling weary, exhausted, sad, discouraged, tired of everything. I knew I had to detach myself from the drama I was in or it would have killed me. I believed and knew in my heart of hearts that England would have healed me on all levels– and that I would have found there what I was desperately seeking (even though I had no freakin’ clue of what it was yet).
☆☆

 

2013 MOVE

Out of the blue and all of a sudden, BOOM! My husband and I moved to England. As soon as we touched British ground a bad blizzard began! The worst snowfall and lowest temperatures in England in 50 years (in late March, when daffodils are usually blooming already!). And that very first night in our English cottage, another nightmare began for me! My husband had a very scary health problem that night, and had to go back home immediately. And while I had agreed to go back with him, overnight I felt a very strong intuition to remain. And there I stayed, with no car, no permanent home, no stuff (just 2 suitcases filled with basically my big camera, laptop, a couple journals, spiritual books, a box of watercolors, a couple photographs, Kim’s ashes, and a few other essentials).  No extra clothes and shoes, except what I was wearing and just one change- nothing.

Thanks to- or because of- my OLW, I actually moved 8 times in 6 months (!!!) from one holiday cottage to the next, all by myself, as my husband was still in Italy, due to continued, very surreal “blocks” to our reunion (including urgent surgery). I started questioning everything in my life, and opening myself to move ahead to whatever path my Soul was calling me to follow, even if at times that seemed scary and uncomfortable.

I finally had my car to move freely, started solo- driving (“moving”) across the English countryside.. I started letting thoughts and inspiration flow in my mind, and moved on to new types of art, I feel compelled to explore (funnily enough, they’re what I’ve been called to make when I stepped onto my true path, and are the basis of all my books and art now). I was determined to heal my back from the hernia, which was still giving me pain and problems. I also was determined to heal my vaginitis and all that type of problems in my low parts, that were painful and annoyed me pretty bad, making even seat and drive difficult (it is because of all those health issues and the general circumstances of my life that I stopped responding to emails, and I announced that on my blog. I practically moved from not speaking up for the fear of the reaction of others, or of their judgment, to speaking up and asking for what I needed. I moved from ZERO self- love, self- respect and self- care, to one hundred per cent commitment to put myself and my well- being FIRST for the very first time in my life.

I felt the inner nudge to start walking, to move my body. In the beginning it was very difficult, because of the pain in my back and the paresthesia in my leg, but I could feel that movement was good for me. I felt the desire to move more and more, so one day, I happened to have a conversation with the landlady about a country store that had proper clothing for the British weather, went there and ended up buying a pair of field wellies. My beloved solo hikes in the Cotswolds begun :) (even though I was still feeling lots of pain in my body, and was actually very fearful of everything at the time- especially of being all alone in the middle of nowhere-, and had to work hard to heal my fears before I was able to truly enjoy this practice and make it mine).

Started a paper journal (mix of sketches and words, that then developed also into a blog series), I named “From my English Country Diary”, where I jotted down my new discoveries in a new Country (for example, goose eggs and duck eggs… don’t laugh!:)), epiphanies and insights from my own spiritual journey. With the newly found excitement for this journal, I moved on from my blocks to journal (at that time I felt incredibly resistant to journal, even if paradoxically it was calling me loudly!), to keeping several journals with ease.

I moved forward in my journey, discovering I am a Highly Sensitive Person AND an Empath, and with that awareness, my sensitivity and intuition deepened and broadened hugely. I moved from one belief (= having a problem with my high sensitivity and being different and destined to be alone) to another (= being enormously blessed with a superpower that not everyone had, and having it for a very specific purpose). I started learning more and more about myself, I made a lot of progress. New teachings came into my life, mostly in form of books. Challenges too- including a lady (that I now know is a soul friend!) that was attracted to my energy like a moth to a flame as soon as we met- and I tried to hide from her in all ways! Later on, she told me she could see my aura, and other strange things. I was still skeptical at the time, so imagine my judgment about this lady!  As the years passed by, I came to understand there were reasons why we had met (she had come to the same conclusions)- she guided me on the soul level, helped me on the physical plane, challenged me big time, and taught me invaluable lessons, one of which let go of/move on from my skepticism, and that we cannot save others if they don’t want to be saved. Our duty is to just love them- pour all of our love on them, and let them make their own choices for their life. I now consider her one of the dearest persons to my heart I have ever met in my whole life.

Thanks to my OWL, I moved from a fixed point of view regarding the house I wanted/needed, and the impossibility of finding it. It miraculously came to me in the most amazing way- divinely orchestrated to the last bit, including my desire of exposed beams, a working open fireplace, skylights and sloped ceilings (especially in the master bedroom), cream colored doors and walls throughout the house, a character bathroom (I had two!), a fantastic shower (this was truly my dream, as I had struggled with showers for all my life!), a country style kitchen with wood knobs, a (huge, farmhouse) sink under the window, a fantastic, quiet studio with beautiful light (to make art), a secluded space (with no public road!), a garden of my own, tall walls all around to protect me, no neighbors, all main services close to me, Nature, and especially silence. A gift from the Universe, indeed. In my home, I had foxes, pheasants, red- legged partridges, woodpeckers, squirrels galore, deer, birds of all kind, horses, the occasional sheep, and a resident owl as neighbors. Think all my dreams come true, even those I was not fully conscious of! The wonderful thing to note here, is that I was guided to this house through heart-shaped rocks I had started to find on my path, and realize were synchronic to my thoughts, and clear-cut answers to my inner questions. I started sharing them on my blog and Instagram, and collect them (I made a huge 1m x 1m canvas with them a few years later, that up to this date makes me literally vibrate in its presence).

I also moved from another fixed point of view- to be a black sheep and destined to not have offline friends, as it seemed impossible for me at that point to find kindred spirits if not online!- and met three blog friends in person. One of them has become a darling penpal all the way from Canada, and the other one an italian friend who was about to play a huge role in making me feel good and comforted and safe during my 5 years alone in England (both friends are still in my life and very dear to my heart!).
 ☆☆

2014 WELCOME

In 2014 I was indeed opening up, welcoming the new. New ideas, new possibilities, new things, and definitely new energy.

I welcomed healing on several levels, physical, emotional, spiritual, mental. I started a new website, a new blog (which I have lost in its entireity except a few posts 3 years later). I welcomed a Morning Journal in my life (where I write almost everyday, which I’m still doing now in 2019!). I welcomed my first DEMDACO products on the market. I welcomed physical healing, even though I was still struggling. I was also welcoming my True Path, I was about to step onto. Some interesting bits from my journal back then: “ It feels like I should finally enter the circle, and receive healing to be able to heal others. You cannot heal if you’re not healed in the first instance”. I also noted in my journal what the word Welcome had done for me, at the end of the year. It helped me to open up to new ideas regarding where I should live; to a new Instagram account and a new community (soul family- I crossed paths with several kindreds, and a Soul friend, that has later become my trustworthy editor, angel friend and confident, and we both feel has to stay besides me on my true path). To more simplicity, to make space for something new in my life (physical and emotional space), and also, after years of living alone since my hubby was still unable to join me (we were intimate and in contact daily nonetheless, planning our wonderful future together after all those painful years and struggles), and really having come to the conclusion I LOVED the newly-found freedom and space for myself I had acquired, I was opening myself up to having a mate again in my physical life. I must confess, though, that I was not truly sure and was still struggling with the idea. Freedom and having all the space and time I wanted and needed for myself (as I had come to realize at this point, as an Empath and HSP I need lots of me time and solo time and space in any relationship), I had finally found for the first time in my life felt too good to return back to the old life. I have checked my 2014 journal now that I’m writing this post, and I wrote, “ (…) this word also means to prepare to welcome a person who arrives in your life”.

I welcomed new teachings, new lessons to learn (and learned!), lots of new epiphanies, new beliefs, new ideas, completely new thoughts in my mind.

In 2014, I definitely welcomed my Purpose, too. Even if I had had glimpses of that in the previous years, it became clearer and clearer, and I was finally able to verbalize it.

I opened my mind enough to welcome the new (scary, uncomfortable) urge to do workshops, and write a book about spirituality (no less!). In December 2014, I received the guidance to do a spirituality/wholehearted/conscious living workshop called “Tune your Heart”, based upon my own journey of awakening. The title of the workshop was delivered to me through a fragment of a poem a dear friend had sent me via snail mail on her Christmas card. Welcome, synchronicities of all sort present on a now regular basis in my life!
☆☆

2015 JOY

I can truly say, 2015 year was full of indomitable JOY! The greatest JOY I have ever felt in my whole life!

I lead my first workshop about spirituality (should say, I attempted at- I did what was ready for). I struggled, but it definitely set me onto my true path. You know the saying, “Whatever it is you have to do, move towards it it will come to you”? It worked for me! A small group of 12 very brave ladies (that I love referring to as “my ladies”) attended- and the exchange we had was AMAZING! Some of them told me that the impact that this workshop had had on them had been remarkable, and they had grown a lot thanks to it! Definitely big, big JOY for me!

I kept working on myself, healing myself, my mind was much quieter at the time, and even though I could not meditate yet on a cushion (I could not stay still at all and was scared about out of body experiences), I had managed, thanks to the clear guidance of my soul, to find and stick to a very centering routine of hiking solo- where I managed to do intense energy work and stay present.
At the end of 2015, I was truly loving myself, and was truly happy. Little did I know that a very powerful event was about to manifest before the end of the year, and set me on a steep path of (even more) JOY, healing, and growth! And because of that unexpected single event- synchronically orchestrated in a very odd, surreal and unbelievable way- I felt a JOY so explosive, huge and deep in my heart and in all the corners of my being I had never felt before in my whole life. With it, of course, came also greater challenges, but that’s another story :)

I can say my chronic migraines with vomit were almost gone, my hernia was gone, and so all of my conditions. Flu, colds, and exhaustion were gone from my life, and the abnormal sensitivity to light I had been struggling with since when I was about 20 yo was very much under control and not creating me problems anymore. I was still (and still am!) a HSP and an Empath, so I cannot bear intense light and sensory stimulation, but the very intense and painful episodes of migraines with cyclic vomiting had gone and gone. I could also go out on very sunny days without sunglasses, not being triggered and being able to enjoy Nature and her amazing, bright colors! WOW!

☆☆


2016 LIGHT

2016 has been my most enlightening year so far in my whole life!

My awareness just exploded. 2016 has been the year of my fastest and greatest awakening and ascension (to higher and higher consciousness).

I learned things I did not even know existed in this world, my mind just opened up to all kind of woo- woo stuff (that, as a recovering skeptical, was a bit strange to welcome in my life at first! But I was indeed ready for it, so I could accept it very quickly). I was enlightened in all ways, challenged in all ways to go higher and higher, supported continuously by Spirit through synchronicities, and signs (material and not). I discovered more and more about myself, and started intentionally practicing the art of “Lightwork”.

I started doing more exercize, longer hikes, and running, too (a milestone for me, given the fact that a few years prior, before moving to England, I was not able to walk around the block without feeling completely drained and exhausted and having enormous pain in my body, and used to not be able to keep my head straight during a migraine attack). I wrote on my blog and Insta, that I may be one of the slowest runners in the world, but I was very proud of myself for how far I had come (all by myself without any external help! I mean, if not by God/Spirit/the Universe :) of course!).
2016 was the year when I also started a “Great Purge Operation”, inspired and motivated by the many conversations via snail mail letters with my penpal and dear friend J. In fact, I had repeatedly felt the deep need to release weight, especially in form of physical stuff- but also emotional/mental/spiritual weight I still felt on my shoulders. I started understanding I was wounded at the soul level by “stuff”, and intended to break free. I felt the need to make more and more space in my life. It was a true JOY freeing myself from all those old things and energies! I had in fact started to realize that I could feel the energy of objects in my home, and it was not fun if the energy was heavy (for example, if the objects had unpleasant memories attached, etc).

I also felt the deep need for more and more truth in my life. I had become increasingly more honest and truthful thanks to my own journey of awakening, and I was now able to detect lies very easily. There were situations in my life based upon lies, and by now I had developed zero tolerance for lies. I was honest and true- and my vibration was making me bounce off people who weren’t true. As simple as that!

I worked hard at keeping my vibration high, did a lot of soulwork, journaling, hiking all the time. I worked at my wardrobe and dressing style, too. I felt the need to be more true in that too, more of myself. Like I had been hiding for way too long!

I even dared to go out without hats (after 5 solid years of wearing a hat to go out on any day of the year!), and not hide anymore.

In 2016 I noticed that I had become truly magnetic to people and things I wanted or needed in my life– not doing anything in particular. I was just a magnetic field attracting all kind of wonderful people, profound connections, events, and things I desired in my life (this was truly weird and super- exciting to become conscious of)! I even started to experience the most incredible thing: complete strangers I met along the way telling me about their struggles, crying with me and hugging me! For a not- at- all- touchy person like me, who was scared to death by hugs, it was another huge step forward (and huge JOY)!
☆☆

2017 LOVE

And here I was, at the beginning of 2017, between awe and terror, having to welcome the word LOVE into my life!

I for sure did not chose it. As it had always happened, I was deeply conscious of the fact that it was the word choosing me. And while I had been ok with all the previous words, this was somehow terrifying.

I felt the need to stop hiding more and more intense within me, and to really take a stand for the Truth. I had to make an even more conscious and deliberate than before choice for love for myself, as I felt the need for more and more lightness. I continued my Great Purge Operation (even dared to start my “adventures in minimalism”! If you knew me before, now it’s time for a good laugh! LOL) because I still felt wounded and weighed down by stuff.

I was put in front of a “mirror” during my very first visit with a doctor in 5 years for a mere purpose of registration, that showed off to me all of the reasons why I had put on physical weight over the years. As soon as I was driving home across the countryside, I had this awesome realization that it was indeed emotional weight- and lo and behold I started a journal for this specific reason, I named my “I Am Light Journal” (some realizations in there I have shared on social media in the past and will surely share here on my blog too), and by the end of the year I had released 11 kgs without doing any diet and no harsh exercize at all (or really, no other excercize than my usual). Over the past two years I have lost 3 sizes, and my body is slowly but steadily returning back to my normal (as I was before the “trauma” that prompted me to put on lots of unnecessary weight).

My One Little Word for 2017 challenged me, conforted me, gave me hope during very difficult times. It prompted me to be totally true, risking to put myself in a huge mess by telling the truth (and of course, that happened! Hehe). My little word asked me to make the scariest, most uncomfortable, ultimate life choice: LOVE or FEAR. It gave me the opportunity to make again the exact same choice I had made already many years ago- when I had made the wrong one!- except the fact that this time it had become much more difficult to make. It required all of my integrity, courage, unconditional love, faith, and trust. I took a deep breath, and made my choice again. Same lesson, same circumstances, same choice- and this time, I made the right one!! I chose LOVE instead of fear. I chose to trust my instinct, my own Self, my Soul, and what I felt and knew deep within myself to be *TRUE*. I chose to ignore anything else that was not aligned with my True, inner voice.

As soon as I made that conscious choice out of LOVE (my knees trembling, but my heart firm andf steady), the Universe responded immediately. And a move back to my home Country was set into motion in a very surreal way I would have never, ever expected.

Everything was divinely orchestrated in perfect, divine timing, including finding all the money I needed to pay everything (where there seemed to be lack of money), and make it safe and sound to my parents’ home. As part of this process (… which was a process of more purification of my ego through hellfire!), I had to let go of my dreams, of my home, of England, of most of my possessions (I kept 1/20 of my belongings in the end), and TRUST THE UNIVERSE WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

To sum up how my little word worked for me, at the end of the year I wrote:
“WHOA. It has been quite a year!
The word LOVE chose me to be my guiding word for 2017, and it was nothing short of spectacular to acknowledge its presence in my life.
Not only did it guide, but challenged me big ways. It pushed me to the edge, and prompted me to make very uncomfortable choices.
LOVE prayed me to give it a possibility, and really open myself to it.
It asked me to revisit my beliefs about it, and heal my core wounds more and more fully.
It demanded me to let go of my fears.
It prompted me to choose self- compassion and self- forgiveness again and again.
It urged me to take a risk and tell the unadulterated (painful) truth to a person close to me I care about.
It exhorted me to abandon my own views and plans for my life, and surrender to my Soul’s plan.
It whispered in my ears to get rid of almost all my material possessions- many of my “treasures” included. It made me abandon my dreams, my home, my location- the English countryside, the place where I belong and I have dreamt of for all my life- all my certainties, and move back to Italy.
It invited me to choose JOY, and what turns my whole being on, even if it’s foolish and unreasonable.
It implored me to not give up with it, and then asked me to let go. It wanted me to trust the Universe with all my heart, and leap in the darkess.
I did it all.
I felt it all.
I survived.
I cried all of my tears, with the most incredible peace in my heart and mind, and total absence of judgment, regret or worry. And I giggled staring at myself in the mirror. “Cause I know and I know that I know”.
And here I am welcoming 2018 with open arms and a fuller heart.”

☆☆

2018 MIRACLE

In 2008, the word MIRACLE chose me to be my guiding word for the year, calling me from the bottle of my hand lotion on my bedside table- no less! :)
I can aknowledge I indeed have had the huge (… impossible?!) miracle I had asked for, manifesting in my life in a way I would have never, ever thought of. But it did. It truly surprised me, it challenged me to go higher and higher, and it was just awesome to witness and acknowledge.

☆☆

And it’s with a grateful heart overflowing with love that I’m typing this, and welcoming my new OWL into my life for 2019.

All I can say it’s widely inspiring, and I instantly aligned with its energy. It chose me- as usual- but this year I’ve been guided by my Soul to not share it, but keep it for myself only. And so this is just what I’ll do.

Some of the lessons from this very long post


– Be aware of the word you choose, when you align yourself with its energy it can be truly powerful and life- changing in ways you do not expect.

– Trust the Universe, be willing to dance with it and play. You’re definitely in for great surprises, and for abundant blessings, even if most of the times you will see them just in retrospect. You have to BELIEVE!

– When your world is crumbling… what a blessing! “Catastrophes” are really blessings in disguise. You are being worked over by the Universe, and preparing yourself for something realy, really, really, REALLY AMAZING you can’t even conceive in your imagination as of yet! Hold on, brave heart! You can do it (and in fact, you are indeed doing it! :)).

– Part of the process is feeling the fear- and doing it anyway.

– Obstacles are never here to stop yopu- but to EMPOWER you.

– Trust the plan of your Soul- it speaks through your heart, and never lies.

– Ignore what others tell you, ignore the naysayers, completely ignore the rules society has taught you about what’s possible or not, don’t look on the outside for answers- always go within. There lies your power! Never forget that. I never, ever let anyone decide what is right or possible for ME! You should do that for yourself, too. It’s a very healthy way to live, and the only way if you want to really be happy and fulfilled.

– Be open to change, to throw your plans for your life out of the window! Ask for for Grace and help in times of struggle, ask for your Highest Good and the Highest Good of the largest number of people possible, and never feel like a victim- because you’re not. Ask to be an instrument of Love, Light, peace, healing, JOY, Grace, and Abundance.

Let the universe work you over, don’t resist, be a walking, breathing field of love, and believe in miracles! As the poet wisely said, “those who don’t believe in magic, will never find it”. Always look for the silver lining, always be grateful no matter what (unconditional gratitude, that is).

– Do your (inner) work, do your work, do your work.

-There are no mistakes in this awesome universe- just lessons in LOVE.

Monica xoxo

Comments